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Sad to say, my eMac is breathing it's last(so to speak). This week was the worst. It takes several attempts to get past the load page and then it tends to freeze upon opening the browser. Over the course of this week it's active periods have been shorter and shorter.

This morning it took 4 hours for me to get 10 minutes of usage out of it. I think it is time to pull the plug.

This brings me back down to one decent computer for 4 people. I won't be on much until we are able to replace the old one.

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Oceanne
20:36 Oct 31 2012

Try starting it up in safemode with networking...It might get you a little more time.

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moonkissed
02:42 Nov 01 2012

I cannot do anything in systems at all. When I try it freezes up. Tomorrow afternoon the kids start a 5 day weekend. My husband starts a new schedule Monday so after tomorrow I will be lucky to be online at all especially on VR before the 12th or 13th of November.

We are hoping to use the first holiday pay check to get a computer from Goodwill.

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Monday night my Siamese was knocked off the kitchen table by another cat. She fell onto my stepping stool, impacting her left hip awkwardly. She did not immediately appear to be injured although she meowed loudly when I touched the area and a couple of days ago she got upset when I picked her up outside.

Tonight while they were eating I noticed a bloody wound on her backside. It's position leads me to believe that she did in fact experience a minor damage to the joint. It did not slow her down or visibly swell and now it is draining and will probably be healed up in a couple of days.

I am always amazed at how well they handle pain of injury. Sometimes not even showing it.

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Isis101
02:21 Oct 28 2012

Cats generally hide or try to hide pain and injuries as a defense mechanism.

I hope that she is okay, with no broken bones!

(Like - a piece of bone breaking through her skin, causing the bleeding, among other scary outcomes)...

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moonkissed
02:42 Oct 28 2012

Oh no, she is ok. After she ate she laid on her side and let it drain completely(all over my table). I will be keeping an eye on it though since as a Siamese she is prone to skin lesions and infections. Last year the old lady who gave her to us had a cyst drained on the center of her back. It took forever to heal and grow fur back. The scarring has left a dark patch in otherwise cream colored fur.

Frankincense and grapeseed oil cleared it right up when it tried to reinfect this year.

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When life gets rough I dummy up. No one is going to help me so what is the point? I do what I have done all my life, I suck it up and move forward. I do the best I can. It is all I can do.

Once the difficult time seems over or nearly over then I will post about it; here. I can't see posting it anywhere else. See, people on VampireRave could give a crap.

To be fair, people on VampireRave do care(some of them)but more than anything they thrive on the empathy, apathy, sympathy. So they either read this crap and comment or read this crap and internalize, examine and bitch about it in their journal or they pass over it. Some people even message privately to say how they understand.

Of course if they have several paid profiles or Lifetime memberships it rings pretty hollow.



So here is me screaming from the mountain top to release my primal rage.

FUCKIN AT&T CAN KISS MY FUCKING ASS! NOT ONLY HAVE WE BEEN WITHOUT GROCERIES INCLUDING PETFOOD FOR THE LAST WEEK BUT THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS COST ME A HUNDRED DOLLARS IN OVERDRAFT FEES BECAUSE THEIR ACCOUNTS RECEIVABLE REPS ARE TO MOTHERFUCKING INCOMPETENT TO PUSH A FUCKING BUTTON!!!!!!!!!



Sorry about your ears and eyes. I hate being locked into a contract that forces me to put up with autopay in order to have a service that I need to have because of where I live and because I have kids. I have two options. I can have a phone and Internet so that I can pay bills without having to drive into town and so the school can contact me if the kids have an emergency or I can wing it and risk losing electricity and water because things get lost in the mail.

I know I can cancel the service anytime but I can't afford the cost from that any more than I can afford the cost of the mistaken transfers of funds when I have called and arranged to pay when there is money in the bank.

Today is payday. I was supposed to pay the damn thing today. In 10 hours I will be on my way to the grocery store to buy the basic essentials needed for tonight and tomorrow as well as much needed petfood.

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Isis101
02:29 Oct 28 2012

A reason why I refuse to go with autopay. But unlike you, my paying situation is easier...

But now, will they reverse the mystery $180.00 bill I just received?

And I know what you mean about deciding on when and what to buy to eat...and you're right. Some here won't get it (especially the ones with multiple premium accounts - lol).

As of right now, my cats' situation is better than mine, but I don't eat much anyway...plus, I can eat for free when I'm at work.



Take care, amiga. Your family and pets are in my thoughts...may you all eat well soon!

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moonkissed
02:38 Oct 28 2012

Since yesterday was pay day my husband came home and we bought the things needed for dinners last night and tonight. Unfortunately by the time he got home the store we buy pet food from was closed so we bought enough to get them through until Sunday. For the cats it was not enough. they are food anxious and nothing is enough. We will get all caught up tomorrow though bright and early.

I must clarify. I did not want autopay. I was told that it was the only way they would connect my new service. My choice was autopay or no phone and no Internet. Not much of a choice. I am looking forward to December 21 when I can shut off the tv and get back control over my payments. I was told that the tv is why I had to have autopay. We don't even use it!

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Quietly

to persevere.

Struggling and sacrifice

The head kept down bent to work.

Thinking always thinking

How to overcome instead of just accepting.

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Isis101
02:06 Oct 25 2012

Amen to that!

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I am tired. Physically tired and mentally. If it is not one thing then it is another.

Today the groceries seemed more expensive. On the bright side I buy enough staples that I could have had a chef salad one night this week and wrap sandwiches another night before running into a problem. My shopping trips usually just end up adding to my available cooking items and that is a good thing.

The to do list on the house seems to get longer every day. We have mere months to go, less than a year before the house itself is in our name and we are in the home stretch. I just want it to hurry up so I can start ripping out walls and replacing flooring but first we must start with the roof or the plumbing.

Which ever one screams the loudest.

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Isis101
02:07 Oct 25 2012

Well - it's good to know that the house will soon be yours! Yay!

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moonkissed
00:53 Oct 26 2012

It is a matter of months now.

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My cat Stormie has been in her three years on this earth, a force of destruction. When she wants out she wants OUT!

She learned to open doors, ripped through every screen in the house and has even clawed at the walls. She is the top branch of my kitty family tree.

How can one little kitten wreak so much havoc? It starts with a condition which between the economy and the BofA kept us from being able to get her spayed before the problem started.

I know, I know. The animal rights folks hate well meaning people like me who just try to give a cat a home. They argue that because I can't afford veterinary care or even a simple neuter I shouldn't have a pet.

I don't know about all of that. Some of veterinary practice is a racket and some of it actually helps.

What I do know is that she wants outside and because she started clawing at the door I stuck her in a cage.

Man is she pissed.

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sahahria
21:21 Oct 09 2012

Honestly, who can afford 3,000 vet bills? When all medicine is affordable, then they can say that. Pffft.

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moonkissed
05:05 Oct 10 2012

Ain't it the truth!

Everything for them is expensive and they don't even have the same rights to medical treatment as my kids do!

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Isis101
02:12 Oct 25 2012

Just the fact that you care for the lil' monster is a testament to your affinity for animals!



Vet care is high, and everyday, I thank God that so far, all of my cats are pretty healthy...but I know that at some point, I'll need to get them all checked out before something dire happens...And what's scary is that I don't have the money for check-ups either at the moment.

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moonkissed
00:52 Oct 26 2012

I am just glad the house is almost paid off. Once that happens we can take care of the furballs and start fixing things around here too.

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I read an article on Yahoo about a North Carolina woman who is faces charges after giving her 11-year old a tattoo. The woman is a tattoo artist and for some reason didn't know that it was illegal for anyone under 18 to get a tattoo in NC; no matter what a parent might say.

My own opinion is that parents cross the line with their kids all the time without their children's consent. I get disgusted when I see infants with pierced ears, the child has no way to consent to that! Body modifications are a personal thing. If a person knows enough to make an informed decision about getting a piercing or tattoo including the drawbacks and potential health risks the option should be available. In NC it was illegal for the tattoo artist mom to give her well educated 11-year old a small heart-shaped tattoo but I have yet to see a single place in our nation that would site me for abuse if I had gotten my infant daughter's ears pierced.

Does that seem right to you?

Don't get me wrong. The law is the law but it seems to me it should be all or nothing.

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CryingMist
04:23 Oct 09 2012

the parent should be charge also, as a tattoo can not be really remove, its possible but $$$ and pain, as for peircing ears... I do not know I know it can be revers if the child never uses it , it will close eventually, but tattoo?????? for a kid???? 11 years old???? that is a parent's stupidiest decision, and irresponsible... parent should be charge

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moonkissed
04:34 Oct 09 2012

You are not alone in that feeling CryingMist. A lot of other posters on the article are saying the same thing. The mom did numb the area so the little girl felt no pain. One other instance of underage body modification is referenced in the article. A 10-year old Georgia boy got a tattoo in memory of his deceased brother.

I got my ears pierced when I was 13 and ended up Nickel sensitive. I have gone years without putting anything through the holes and yet the holes remain so I don't know about it being reversible.

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Lullaby
04:34 Oct 09 2012

I think piercing a baby's ears should be illegal - it disgusts me - the child has no say in that at all. My aunt got my sister's ears pierced when she was 3, and my sister who is now 25 asked mum why she had gotten her ears pierced without consent, because she doesn't want them done now.



I think the woman who tattooed her daughter should lose her license, too - if she's a tattoo artist and didn't know about a law THAT big, then there's no way she should be tattooing ANYONE.

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imagesinwords
05:03 Oct 09 2012

I agree, my mother did it to me as you can see (if the embedded file works)- and I can't imagine sitting there watching my baby have holes poked into their flesh at my 'order'. My mother was and still is all about 'looks'... and that was more important to her than me or my sister being protected from avoidable physical pain.

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moonkissed
05:15 Oct 09 2012

Yes the file works and you were adorable!

I feel really good about having let my daughter decide for herself and so did she. For years she had been annoyed with me for not piercing her ears when she was younger but I just couldn't.

for her the moment really was a "rite of passage".

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BLOODLIFE
11:01 Oct 09 2012

The bigger picture is that the law should be uniformed across all the States and for all things. People see that it's okay to do it in another State and use that to justify their actions.

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moonkissed
13:28 Oct 09 2012

That will probably never happen BL. Every region of the US has it's own culture and laws and some regulations are based on the culture of the area.

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DarkMuse
16:21 Oct 09 2012

The tatto thing is just awful, and I agree with

the ear piercings....I don't like to see small kids/

babies with them either, and they should have

a say so, and parents should think about infections

too. I myself waited until my daughter got old

enough, and then she told me she wanted her

ears pierced, and then she has the responsibility

to take care of them herself.

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deathnitegrl
22:04 Dec 30 2012

I agree my lobes got pierced and for a long time I had golden earrings and I lost many. If I dont wear gold i get allergic, i wonder if it is the case. Nowadays i dont wear any, i hate them since i was forced.

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moonkissed
01:05 Jan 07 2013

It is likely.

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I deleted Skype and the computer seems to be working a little better. I will keep my fingers crossed, figuratively speaking of course. It sucks when it freezes up while I am looking at a typed page with absolutely no fucking flash or Java. I expect a certain amount of crap on most pages including VR but freezing on a fucking FAQ!

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BLOODLIFE
00:37 Oct 09 2012

I could have told you about Skype, it was a disaster on my pc too. I still use and swear by MSN as I've never had a problem with it, the video is not always the best but mostly it's fine.

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moonkissed
04:03 Oct 09 2012

It was an emergency upload a few weeks ago when my daughter was trying to make plans with a friend. No cell means she texts with them via yahoo or uses Skype. Still having issues with Safari. She insists on using it.

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deathnitegrl
21:57 Dec 30 2012

Same thing happened to me.

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When I got out of bed this morning the eMac was off. Usually my son listens to music before school so I was surprised.

I turned it on and started coffee. Fed the cats.

When I returned the screen was frozen on load.

I turned it off and tried again.

5 times it happened.

It is time to sit down with the kids to discuss the treatment of Grandpa eMac. Be patient. When you turn it on give it several minutes, in fact give every browser close several minutes or the computer will lock up and need to be restarted.

This is not hard. It just takes patience.

This is what we have until we can save up enough for a rebuild.

Maybe they will get it and maybe they won't.

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BLOODLIFE
13:58 Oct 08 2012

We live in a world where kids want everything to happen even faster than the last upgrade.

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moonkissed
14:13 Oct 08 2012

I am pretty lucky though. My kids want things but rarely get them unless they are an actual need. For example they don't have cell phones or iPods. My son has an ancient Mp3 player that was given to him as a gift.

My daughter is less patient. It is one of her quirks.

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I watched the season opener of Grey's Anatomy this morning. If I had known that in the aftermath of the plane crash in last season finale was going to be taking someone off life support I wouldn't have watched it. As I listened to the explanation of the procedure on the computer, I could hear a different voice saying it in my head. Instead of only seeing the image on the screen of someone lying peacefully while the oxygen was turned off and the tube was removed I saw a tandem replay of eyes that were supposed to be closed forever flying open, the eyes rolling in the sockets appearing to look in my direction in panic and all I could say is I'm sorry. I was told it was a reflex.

In July I took my father to ATL after he had visited us for three weeks and as I looked at the planes landing and taking off I thought of a woman who sometimes went to the airport(pre-9/11)to watch the planes leave. She would try to imagine where they could be going, escaping the city to be somewhere clean and warm. Sometimes she was lucky if she had bus fare and I did realize then on that day at ATL how much I resented him for being able to do what she never could now that she is gone.

I guess I was emotional this morning when I turned to my journal here. It felt better to put it out in the open somewhere and I am grateful to have a place that allows me to vent freely and either observes my vent and walks away or offers a moments solace or encouragement.

I am going to watch a movie now.

I don't have anywhere else to say this so I have to put it here. I have to put it here or go out of my mind. 6 years ago today I lost my best friend. I told my kids their grandma was dead and I hate my father for continuing to live after she died.

She loved him, she was so stupid! All he has ever been is a con man and a cheat and always smiling through it and wondering why people got mad. She was always stuck and for that I am mad at her too. I tried to help her and she just went back.

Why do good people die while the bad ones live on to plague us?

I try to be civil but when I see him buying whatever he wants and traveling around the country it pisses me off because she always wanted to and couldn't. Not after he destroyed her credit. Obliterated! Stole, wrote bad checks and let utilities go defunct while he drank and cheated and gambled.

I feel like a miserable person for feeling this way. Kids are supposed to honor their parents but I didn't choose him and how do I honor someone who has no honor?

I need to walk away now.

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Nekirena
18:22 Oct 04 2012

hugs*

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moonkissed
20:01 Oct 04 2012

That's the nicest thing I have read all day.

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Deola
22:10 Oct 04 2012

speaking from personal experience just because your parents decided to fuck one day when they were horny does NOT automatically deserve them honor and respect...That is something that is earned..

You should never feel guilty for feeling they way you do, HE SHOULD.............

**hugs**

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